Reflective Journal (3)

The Chinese perception of self mainly revolves around harmony within the society or group of people, and placing the society above one, while the American perception of self says that one has the freedom to express his thoughts and fight for his own welfare. More importantly, I begin to ponder about my classmate's opinions on the two perceptions, that the Western perception is more suitable than the Chinese one because in a classroom setting, speaking up and questioning authority as a means of fighting for one's welfare would be more apt, as it ensures that more knowledge is gained. Initially, I agreed, but now my thoughts are diverging.
My family operates in the Chinese perception of self. Every week, I would go to my grandmother's place to have dinner, My grandmother was ill that day, but she did not have the time to inform us before we arrived, and all of us including my cousins were already there. Yet despite her sickness, she had to single-handedly cook and prepare dinner for all of us, just because she did not want to disrupt the whole day by not having food ready for us. In the end, she had a very poor appetite throughout the lunch while we gobbled away. Perhaps before the lesson, I would have never linked this to any perceptions of self, and simply dismiss this matter as an act of love, and I am certainly not saying it is not. However, it comprises more than love, it expresses my grandmother's Chinese perception of self. She had sacrificed her rest in order to prevent the 'society', the rest of the family, from being affected by her illness. Then it dawned on me that sometimes, the Chinese perception is not necessarily not suitable.

Also, I have also began to notice how these beliefs are coherent to my track and field life as well. Last year, I was injured just before my national competition and I had a big part to play in the 400m hurdles event. But I had two events on my hands, the 100m hurdles and 400m hurdles. Running all out for both is tantamount to increasing the risk of myself getting injured once again, and I had to secure the first place for 400m hurdles. Because of that, my coach and I decided that I had to give up my 100m hurdles race even though I had the chance to get a top 3 placing, to prevent myself from getting injured and missing out on my main event and other relay events as well. Although I could choose to not follow my coach's instruction, I chose otherwise, because I knew that the team winning the 11th time consecutively was top priority. Individual glory had to take a step down. It was a suitable choice. Only when I reflected yesterday that I realise this was a reflection of the Chinese perception of self, of putting the team above self.

But the Western perception of self does has significant impact in my life as well. I aspire to be an architect, and to be able to make astounding designs of buildings is something I would want to accomplish. Learning to fight for my own ideas and speak up for them is essential, and this is inextricably linked to the Western perception of self. In a discussion setting, I cannot afford to not speak up for my designs just because they are different from my colleagues and would disrupt the harmony with my colleagues as I put down their ideas. In fact, I believe that it is essential everyone speaks up for their ideas and comment on others during meetings and discussions. No design is too good to be criticized on, and with people criticizing the idea, there would be changes and improvements made, leading to the best idea. One cannot afford to be conservative with criticisms and in speaking up for the designs in fear of disrupting the flow of the conversation and affecting the harmony between colleagues. Instead, I must learn how to be bold in conversing my thoughts as that is what I feel an architect should have, the courage to be different and have confidence in my designs and thoughts.

Sometimes, the Chinese perception of self is more suitable in certain settings and in this world, we not only work in a classroom setting that revolves around learning of knowledge, we work with people, with our families and with our colleagues Different situation would require different perceptions of self to be applied and being fixated with the thought that the Western perception would be the most suitable for all situations is not being wise. Being able to adapt efficiently and be flexible with our thoughts should be what I should look towards to!

797 words (*I apologise, as I put the word count late, at about 9.10pm as I forgot to do so at 9pm.)